I believe he has what is called Peter Pan syndrome.
For the past 15 years, he hasn’t worked ( officially), so pays no NI or PAYE. He doesn’t claim benefits so the only money he gets is from doing cash paid jobs. I don’t even know whether he has a bank account as my Mum set up a DD from her bank account to pay his monthly van insurance (which is still happening). He used to “ borrow” money from my Mum but doubt he ever paid it back. He was given the van 13 years ago. ( another story).
My Mum passed away almost 2 years ago so my brother took on the role of cooking and cleaning for my Dad (84 at the time). It was mainly his evening meals as Dad hasn’t a clue how to cook for himself.
Dad, now 86, had a fall in August and after 8 weeks in hospital was transferred to a care home due to immobility and lack of mental capacity. The care home was partly because my brother refused to care for him at home, even with the help of carers.
He told the hospital nursing staff that he has his own business so he wouldn’t be able to spend much time at home caring for my Dad during the day. !!!!!
We are now at the stage where we are going to have to fund the full cost of the care. (£800 per week). Dad has more than the £23,500 threshold in savings so it will be taken from there until it dwindles.
My Dads pensions are still being paid into his bank account which pays all the household bills, (gas, electric, water, council tax , insurance etc). My brother pays for the (his)food.
Although he has a van, my brother also uses my Dads car (“ kind of “with his permission).
My brother feels that because he has “looked after “ Mom & Dad for the past , max 5 years, he is entitled to live in the house being funded by my Dads pension.
When ever I broach the subject of his future and what he’s going to do when our Dad dies, where he’s going to live etc, he tells me he knows what’s coming but doesn’t want to think about it and we end up having a row and he starts crying saying I don’t care about him or my Dad.
He does have some health issues which I believe are due to his cannabis habit.
I don’t think it’s right that he has sponged off my Mum & Dad all of his life and when the savings are gone, they will take the house into consideration for funding which he will live in until it’s sold. Apparently, I can’t make him sell the house.
I am worried that if he can’t pay the bills, I will become liable for them as the house is to be split between us. (I have my own house, job, family etc).
What I am asking is, has anyone experienced this type of thing? Who should I contact for help to help straighten my brother out.
Where would I even start?
What will he do when my Dad dies if we sell the house?
He thinks that if he signs on , they will ask him what he’s been doing for the past 15 years and he’ll get into trouble for tax evasion. It’s a vicious circle.
