For a number of years during the 70s and 80s I served as a supervising nurse on geriatric units and I had my share of experience with folks who had many 'stages and habits'--many of them diagnosed with "senile dementia". I remember how distracting it could be to have all those odd behaviors happening...often all at once, often at meal times when they were all seated in one place!
There, verbal chatter would be high and there was alot of commotion going on what with the clattering of pots and pans, dishes and such. Still, we observed the same behaviors during the quiet hours when nothing much was happening at all. During those hours our patients would be pacing the halls as well as doing the fidgeting of fingers, the tearing of tissues and paper along with the on-going jibber-jabber type conversations with the air.
How ironic that now I'm the one with dementia. I pace. I pace back and forth and I rock back and forth as I pace and I find myself having out loud conversations with the air. I live only with my cat and she doesn't seem to mind, but I do notice it after I'm doing it for a while. I don't do this when I'm with others. I believe, for me anyway, that the less ability I have to release pent up energy-(and that comes with just about any external distractions), the more I fidget and fuss. I am also coming to believe that the ongoing disruption of cognitive filtration causes a kind of energy overload that really affects my entire system--mental, emotional and physical. (I firmly believe that my spiritual health is intact and doing well.)
I still have enough functioning brain tissue left to 'see' myself and I can also get an idea of what is happening to cause the pacing. It seems that I build up internal energy and it needs to be released somehow. Reflecting back on the nursing home patients I cared for I can see that may have been the case with them, too. We just didn't know. For certain we did not provide any avenue for mental and physical release because we didn't know how exactly to do that. Often we used physical and chemical restraints to decrease their odd behaviors. These were actions done out of ignorance and because the our government agencies told us they were quite acceptable. These actions were also taken for staff convenience. I am appalled when I think back to those days. It disgusts me even as I recall it. Thank God we are now more enlightened.
If I'm not mistaken my old physics professors said that energy requires release and it will find a way to bring release about. I am most aware of the 'pain' of dementia when the brain is misfiring or when it simply shuts out any ray of light to shine upon the confused thoughts that are swirling around in the mists. It's a terrible personal awareness experienced at a level deeper than can sometimes be reached by human logic.
It seems that some of us with dementia need to decompress somehow. If fussing and fidgeting is what needs to be done then let us do that, but if somehow there could be a way to gently try other diversions then perhaps that might even be better.
I'm always open to suggestions and I need all the help I can get. That is why the experiences of carers as well as those with dementia are so important for me. Thanks to all who are helping me see my way through this sometimes scary adventure.
I hope I haven't bored you with this lengthy post...sometimes I just can't quit
Peace and that in abundance for us all...LoisJean
